Welcome to Mistress Snark’s Tuesday Tea. Afternoon tea is a most civilized British invention – an opportunity to snack with impunity. However, in Mistress Snark’s parlor, you never know what might be floating in your tea or what those cute little sandwiches are hiding under the bread.
As full disclosure, any guest appearing here must sign the usual waivers regarding food poisoning, bodily harm caused by Jezebel, random attacks by minions, or permanent brain damage resulting from the questions posed.
Today’s guest is Angela Brown. It’s so nice to have you here today. Would you like some tea? Or perhaps Jezebel’s special punch? I don’t know what’s in it.
Angela: Well, Mistress Snark, let me first say the honor of visiting your unique abode today is all mine. Since I signed that waiver – which, by the way, I’m curious what kind of paper that was. It didn’t feel like anything I’ve ever used, such an odd texture. Oh, I better stop myself before I run off on a tangent. The drink, yes, that’s what you were asking about. I’ll take some of Jezebel’s special punch. I’ve heard tale it has a kick to it.
Mistress: Let’s just say the paper has an otherworldly origin…one you don’t want to examine too closely. As for the punch, the kick is real and different for each person. You’ll have to let me know how you like it.
On to your first question. Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Angela: Actually, I have a little secret. The tops of my feet are named Hairfee. It’s a bit of a silly reason why. Being a Tolkien fan and all, I noticed that the hobbits were the ones selected to be the center of great adventures. What do hobbits have? Hairy tops to their feet, thus the name for mine, since I’m human. *pause for a sip and smacks lips after vigorously shaking my head* That DID have a kick. Spicy with a hint of…what WAS that? Please pardon my shudders. Seemed to have caught a chill. *exhales a puffy cloud of breath and shudders again*
Mistress: Oh, my. I’m afraid I can’t tell you what the spice might have been. I do hope you aren’t coming down with Rigors-Cybertronian? *turns to director* Get Unicron on the line. We might have another one for him.
Concentrate on your Hairfee, dear, and try to hold still.
So, hurrying along with your next question. What is an occasional table the rest of the time?
Angela: *Burp* Oh, dear me! So sorry, Mistress Snark. Very unladylike of me to belch so. Okay. Ummm…concentrating on my Hairfee. My toes look like snossages and Mary slapped her little clam.
*gasp* What did I just say? Sorry, um…back to your question. An occasional table is a cross between a raven and a writing desk when it isn’t being, well, occasioned. And where did the two gentlemen behind you come from? They weren’t there before. The one on the left looks a bit…ghastly. Having half his head caved in is not a good look.
Oh no…Mistress Snark, did you happen to mention my stint as Ghost Knight to Jezebel?
Mistress: I might have mentioned it in passing… Hmm, don’t worry too much. She doesn’t listen to half the things I say. The gentlemen behind me are here to protect the good members of the audience. Ignore them. They aren’t actually in this dimension. I’m surprised you can see them.
You do seem to be fading a bit… Try to hang on. We’re almost finished.
This last question is a scenario. You’re in a joust, facing a horde of zombies. Suddenly, your horse begins the change. What will you do next?
Angela: My trusty steed *Burp* Sorry, has been with me through thick and Jack and Jill rolled down the hill entangled in bells and snails. What the dickens???? Am I changing into a ghost or turning Mad Hatter?
Um…oh my, back to the scenari-*Burp* -o. So, so sorry. Okay, so I’d trust my steed’s natural instincts to begin the change as well so I can search Mother Hubbard’s cupboard for a bone to feed the zombies.
Really? Did that just come out of my mouth? Down with the bloody Red Queen! *Burp* Oops lol!!! I – I – I have words. I do. But who knows what will fly out next. Pea soup!
Mistress: And there you have it, gentle audience. Please wish Angela a speedy recovery and give her a round of applause. *signals the transdimensional gentlemen to lead Angela offstage*
Born and raised in Little Rock, AR, Angela now calls Central Texas home.
Reading and writing have been lifelong passions. It was around the time she gave birth to her forever-love, nicknamed Chipmunk, that she really took writing seriously. After all, how could she teach her child to follow her dreams if she hadn’t tried herself?
As a YA fantasy/sci-fi reader and author, she favors the magical, mysterious, the darker side of life…even harbors a secret fright for things that go bump in the night.
NEVERLOVE is a special project spawned from a blog-challenge-turned-blog-opera, the Abby and Basil affair. It is the first in the Shadow Jumpers series.
Neverlove – For Abigail and Basil, there is a choice they both fear making. Duty or love? There can be only one.
- Book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE2g5HlKWTw
- where I can be visited/haunted
Goodreads author page: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6476148.Angela_Brown
Angela Brown in the Pursuit of Publishness blog: http://publishness.blogspot.com/
Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/Angela-Brown/e/B009JJEX60
Congratulations, Angela! You’ve earned the Tuesday Tea Survivor badge, suitable for your blog or hanging on the bathroom wall. Go ahead and take it with you.
Mistress Snark wants to see YOU in her parlor. Are you brave enough? Drop her an email at: laura (AT) lauraeno.com and list “Tuesday Tea” in the subject line.
Next week’s guest in the parlor is Greta van der Rol. Be sure to come back and have a spot of tea with her!